The Watchmen Movie

‘WATCHMEN’ is a movie that I would defend until death, although to be honest, I don’t think it was a very good movie.

If you’re confused, let me explain.

I first read the graphic novel around 1996 or so, re-read it at least twice a year, and each time I still found new details and nuances. It’s deep, it’s emotional, it really deserves its place as one of the great literary works of all time.

But here’s the thing: it’s also exhausting. Because to devour the whole thing in one sitting is really hard. Every panel, every page is swamped with references and sundry things that makes more sense if you put the book down for a moment and digest for a while.

It simply does not work if you tell that story in a single movie, even one with a 3-hour running time.

The result of the attempt to do so is a cramped, claustrophobic film that explains so much but lack any emotional climax. It’s violent, but lacks any dread. It’s action-packed, but lacks ‘punch’. It’s dense without being deep.

But then, i remember in an interview somewhere that Zak Snyder was trying his best not to offend the book’s scribe, Alan Moore. I think Snyder’s reverence for the source material needs to be applauded, because most parts of Watchmen are really the comics pages in moving form. The other parts are just cosmetic differences (you just know Snyder has to include the obligatory slo-mo and fast-forward sequences)
But you know, I’m not an expert or anything, but you really have to make a choice between not offending Alan Moore and simply making a good movie.

The saddest thing is, the disappointment really works both ways. Everyone not familiar with the work will be confused, while the faithful will find the film jarring when the story ‘beats’ didn’t come when expected.

So, as a movie, not very good then. But as fan-service: not bad. Snyder needs to be applauded for his effort, for his faithfulness to the comics, for the fact that he gives a damn. He wants to make us satisfied. The fact that he (heroically) failed should not diminish the fact that he obviously CARES.

Some things about the movie I need to get off my chest:

-Jon Osterman’s transition to dr. Manhattan is too abrupt. In the comics, the amount of clothes he wore decreased gradually (full-body jumpsuit to tank-top and undies to being completely naked). I think this is important to show Jon’s transformation from nerdy scientist to super-being is not an overnight thing. This also would make the sudden appearance of a big blue penis seem less distracting.

-Damn, Patrick Wilson is really too handsome to play Nite-Owl. Where’s the flab? The belly? Daniel Dreiberg came off more sympathetic than simply pathetic.

-Jeffrey Dean Morgan as the Comedian: I don’t know it’s a praise or a slam for Morgan, but the way he played him, I kind of felt sorry for the guy. Are we supposed to feel that way for a would-be rapist and cold-blooded killer?

-Jackie Earle Haley is perfect in many ways but one: the overtly-husky voice, which he seem to pick up from Christian Bale’s Batman. Ugh.

-Of all the women, how come Snyder picks Janey Slater to be the best-looking one? The actress playing her got that Carly Pope/pale skin-black hair-combo thing goin’ on. Malin Akerman, on the other hand, is on the running for Hollywood’s bitchiest visage. Ali Larter, watch your back.

-*SPOILER-IF YOU HAVENT WATCHED THE MOVIE, SKIP THIS!!!* Dude, the ending just does not make any sense! Wouldn’t the other countries just, like, blame America for letting dr. Manhattan did this?? After all, they’ve spent the movie saying that dr. Manhattan is AMERICA’s weapon…